Brittney Gilbert is the blogger for San Francisco’s CBS 5; she also mouths off at her long running personal blog, Sparkwood & 21. This is her first time reading a David Foster Wallace novel.
Madeline L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time did it to me. It made me fall in love with fiction. I’d been an early reader, and a frequent reader, but when I discovered L’Engle’s Wrinkle in 5th grade there were sparks, complete with a speeding heart, sweaty palms and butterflies knocking around in my stomach until I get back to that engrossing book.
That long torrid affair with fiction came to a horrible halt when I started reading material online all day long for pay.
I am a blogger by trade. I’m a blogger who blogs about blogs for a living for a local television news station. Part of that job entails monitoring 300, 400, 500 blogs every day (I lost count.), so that I may recommend content written by locals to locals. I’m a human aggregator. I scan and skim and skip big chunks of text so that I can crank out 10, 20, sometimes 25 posts in a single day. I cannot read all the posts made by local bloggers in a single day. It would be impossible. That means I never get to the end of what Google Reader pipes in to me, and I start it all over again the following morning with more scanning, skipping, skimming until some post pegged with bullet points or strategically placed bolded text catches my attention enough to single it out for suggestion. Large, long, thoughtful posts don’t get read in full, so much as passed on to others to read simply due to the length.
I likely skim over a good 20,000 words a day. Lots of them register, but many do not. I’ve had to become a masterful scanner of reading material, a skill that is essential when monitoring a huge amount of content every day, but one that will utterly annihilate your ability to sit down and read an actual book. Infinite Jest is the first book I’ve taken on to read in a long, long time. Because my job requires a good eight hours a day of reading (scanning, whatever), I just don’t have the drive or stamina to come home and read some more. It’s usually “The Bachelor” or “Real Housewives” or “People Who Think They Can Dance” running around in my brain once I’ve clocked out for the day. But the reading I do for my work isn’t reading at all, not really, and so by diving into Infinite Jest after having avoided novels for so long I have slowly, and almost by accident, gotten my attention span back.
For someone who hasn’t read anything longer than a New Yorker article in a solid six months, IJ is an unmerciful beast to bring me back into the fiction fold. I began my Infinite Summer journey like an excited elementary student on her first day back to school in fall. I packed my enormous book in my backpack, along with a fresh steno notepad and capped pen, so that I could read on the bus or on the train or on my break at work. I was going to win at Infinite Summer! I was pumped! I was going to do this! But I learned very soon a few things: 1) You carry that book around on your back every day and you will need a spinal alignment. 2) People look at you funny when you read that tome in public. 3) Infinite Jest cannot be read in ten minute spurts on the back of a bumpy, crowded bus barreling down Mission Street. I was going to have to really commit to this book the way one commits to a college course or a part-time job or a new lover.
That’s when the magic happened. When I took the book to my room and closed the door and even lit some candles, because, dammit this was a date, part of me that was lost to internet reading peaked its head up. I was spending serious one-on-one time with a big, beautiful book, and when I really gave myself over to it, and fought the urge to skim and won, I knew IJ had become more than my latest reading project, it had became the rebirth of my much-missed attention span.
Infinite Jest takes focus. I cannot listen to music while reading this novel, nor can I take it in with television on in the background. I can’t skim parts and still get the gist. The text requires 100% participation on my part. It has become a meditation. I have to be present and mindful in order to fully ingest the words before me. I cannot click to open a new tab, to check to Twitter to see if anyone famous has died, or refresh D-Listed.40 It’s just me and the lavish landscape Wallace created.
“I am in here.”
I have chosen to care about this book, to give it a place in my life. In doing so I am rewarded with messages in IJ about the importance of being present. Of just breathing. Themes abound in IJ about focus, about choosing what it is that you pay attention to, and how crucial it is to do that with the utmost care. If only because our whole lives depend on it.
By virtue of being what it is, a dense, complicated, scattered work of immense volume, Infinite Jest enforces its own themes. Focus, presence of mind and conscious choice are all things thrust upon the reader when they enter into a contract to finish DFW’s IJ. Having wine before reading makes the trek a little too muddy. Reading with a clear mind, free of adulterants, will allow the book to bring you its own incredible high. There is keen insight embedded in nearly every page, but you have to be fully present to see them.
“Attachments are of great seriousness. Choose your attachments carefully. Choose your temple of fanaticsm with great care.”
The non-linear (to say the least) structure, the constant change in voice, forced flipping, always flipping, to the back of the book for endnotes are elements that don’t allow you to get lost in a story. “You are reading a book,” you are often reminded. You are in here. You are not Cinderella at the ball or Hermione at Hogwarts, you are reading Infinite Jest. You may get caught up in the frenzy of Erdedy’s panicked wait for pot, but not for long. Soon you are reading Infinite Jest again.
It’s easy to see that Wallace had a difficult time with focus, what with the sprawling nature of his most famous novel. It’s almost as easy to see that he knew the vast importance of mental discipline and presence of mind, if you can manage to have some of that yourself. With Infinite Jest Wallace was able to let his mind roam in fantastic, spooling, brilliant ways, yet did so within the confines of a single book. Sure, it’s a really long book, but he was able to box his thoughts. And by offering that book to you he is giving you the same opportunity, the chance to see just how difficult but but ultimately freeing that can be.
Nice post, BG. I try and treat it like meditation as well. I’m finding I’m able to play music, at low volume, during certain sections. I have to put some thought into the selection, based on the section I’m reading. If it’s about enfield, or ennis house, usually some jazz, if it’s marathe, ambient drone-y film scores work. some sections it’s impossible, though, and that’s just fine.
Interesting post on your experience reading IJ.
As it’s sort of quiet here today I thought I would note, as some of you may be interested (and may already know), that Pynchon’s new book, INHERENT VICE, will be released on August 4.
INHERENT JEST is apparently not as absurdly long as AGAINST THE DAY (or MASON & DIXON or GRAVITY’S RAINBOW, for that matter), and comes in under 400 pages. I’m going to try to fit in a quick reading of the new book while staying on schedule with IJ.
Ack: I called the new book INHERENT JEST in the second paragraph above. Oops.
Whereas Infinite Vice is SOOOOOO much more fun…
You got it right!
“I have chosen to care about this book, to give it a place in my life.”
I don’t spend my days scanning the internet, and I’ve always been a reader of novels, but even I’m finding that reading IJ is different. It requires a choosing, a level of choosing higher than just picking it up off the shelf, or grabbing it at a bookstore because of the great title. It requires a more conscious, continually demanding choosing – this book wants to be in a relationship.
I’ve been reading a couple of other books while I’m also reading Infinite Jest, and, you’re right. The experiences are totally different.
Infinite Jest is kind of like homework for me, which is not a bad thing, given how much I loved being in school. It necessitates a mindset of, “I am going to sit down and do this thing.” The awareness of knowing that I am Reading This Book, though, sometimes makes me give in to a desire to hurry in order to accomplish my goal. I’ll make it to page 317 and pat myself heartily on the back, and realize that I should have taken more time with the last five pages.
I have to remind myself to slow down. I have to remind myself that I am only going to read Infinite Jest for the first time (all the way through) once.
Thoreau said that a book should be read as deliberately as it was written. I’m sure he was exaggerating for the point (he wrote a difficult book too), but a book that was written with great attention to detail and structure should be read with great attention to detail and structure. IJ demands it. Readers who don’t give it that, generally don’t finish. And sometimes it takes a couple of tries before you are ready to make that commitment and devote that attention.
I can remember hearing how frustrated DFW got when people described the book as ‘a mess’ or ‘undisciplined,’ because whatever else it may be it is clearly notf a mess. If you think it is a loose and chaotic, I think you aren’t paying enough attention. I’m on my second time through and it is an even better book the second time through, an even more of a rewarding experience. At least for me.
“I’m on my second time through and it is an even better book the second time through, an even more of a rewarding experience. At least for me.”
I agree. Way better, way more impressive, and far more rewarding the second time through.
I have a theory (and I havent finidhed the book yet): The books nonlimear timeframe in the beginning might be :
A trailer.
Like for movies.
Everyone is shown in critical places, so you get a feeling what awaits your. After 150 or so pages the normal story starts (and the backstories are revealed etc.). Considering that Hals Father was a moviemaker I think that might even be a meta-reference.
What do you think?
Your bit about lighting candles for your date with IJ made me laugh. How wonderful!
I understand about not being able to have any distracting noise while I’m reading IJ (or from the tenor of the above posts, maybe I should say “spending time with IJ”). Even the television from downstairs is distracting. I turn off my music, shut my door, and only an hour or so later realize I’ve been reading for an hour or so. I blame DFW. If I hadn’t emotionally connected so strongly to his characters it’d be easier to put it down.
I like how you’ve phrased the relationship with the book–it is a book one needs to be present for, and attentive to.
I find it ironic, though, that the focus it requires means I have to shut out other distractions like my husband and children. It becomes something of what it argues against, I think, as an isolating entertainment. My husband and I now have separate copies and are reading for IS together, so we often read side by side at the dining room table.
Which is another reason IJ is different from many books–it’s so big it’s not readily portable, so I find it requires specific places and a prop to read easily.
Like many of you I found the need to remove any many distractions as possible upon first becoming involved in IJ. Now, as I return to in for the Infinite Summer it is a bit easier. Unlike past rereads, IJ holds far more surprises the second time through, perhaps because the first encounter with DFW’s work changed the way, as well as what, I read.
Wow. “infinite coincidence”, just started book this wknd (18th, 19th?) and found this website. Something must be in the ether; will check back frequently
I have no problem with the TV on the background, I have the ability to ignore everything when wrapped up in a book (can be problematic when taking the bus!).
What I have found is that at certain points it’s too much and I have to put the book down and walk away. For example, after an intense chapter at the tennis academy or the recovery house to then try to follow Marathe & Steeply is more than I can handle and I need a break.
I’m put off by recurring theme of the Novel In Question taken as some sort of a chore or ‘homework’.
As for me, what I’ve read so far is very much like the novel that I’ve been looking for my entire adult life, without ever becoming fully cognizent of the lack. I can’t pull myself away. I wish I had days and days of uninterrupted time to devour this thing, deliberately yet voraciously, phrase by phrase.
Makes what I was reading before seem a chore by unflattering comparison.
how long until the depression over the fact that you’ll never read something quite like this again sinks in? pg 700 or so?
Actually I was just thinking about this yesterday – I’m currently in the low-600s, and this realization has hit me full-force. I’m now trying to slow my pace a bit…
this was a nice read, thank you. i remember the first time fiction grabbed me, too – spending part of the summer of 1974 lying on the beach reading Jaws.
this is not my first time through IJ, but it is different this time – love having the community read.
and now, off to d-listed.
I think this kind of attention is exactly what DFW strove for in both his life and his work. I think this is, in its bones, what this novel is trying to accomplish.
Here’s a quote from Wallace’s Kenyon Commencement speech:
“Probably the most dangerous thing about an academic education–least in my own case–is that it enables my tendency to over-intellectualize stuff, to get lost in abstract argument inside my head, instead of simply paying attention to what is going on right in front of me, paying attention to what is going on inside me.
As I’m sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now).”
For Wallace the goal was to corral the ravenous mind by being present in every moment.
This part of the quote rings especially true:
“As I’m sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now).”
This applies to so many people I know who are so wrapped up in their own lives and thoughts, it makes them miserable (and somewhat boring to talk to) but they can seem to get away from it. I wonder if convincing them to read IJ would help? Or maybe they need to attend an Ennet House for thinking addicts?
Just a short note: anyone want to discuss DFW’s repeated use of the adjective “faggy” in the Orin Incandenza section in our current limits? Pretty sure it’s clear that the use of the word is from the narrator’s perspective, and not Orin’s, despite the wavering close-third person used in the section.
I am hoping the reading this week will shed some light onto who the narrator really is. Not sure where the spoiler line is midweek, but the Eschaton footnote is amazing for this.
There’s the beginnings of a discussion of the narration over at http://asupposedlyfunblog.wordpress.com/2009/07/21/third-person-plural/.
I don’t know if “wavering close 3rd person” is a technical term, but it is not far from my use of “floating 3rd.” Other suggestions are welcome!
True, it’s been very difficult for me to “get lost” in the story of IJ thus far. You definitely know you are reading a book, and without this Infinite Summer project, I would’ve been lucky to make it to page 150 before I set the book aside and procrastinated until I forgot about it.
From the onset of Infinite Summer, I have been diligent in keeping on task. Not only have I met every page deadline so far, I’ve been ahead of the game by at least 30 pages since the end of the first week.
Now I’m nearing page 500 (50% completion — oh no!) and I’ll be damned if I give up or fall behind now. The Ennet House segments have been most enjoyable for me to read, while Marathe & Steeply and some of the Incandenza business has been very difficult to follow mentally. Many of these passages feel as though I am reading a dictionary, or a long encyclopedia entry on a subject I have little interest in.
Must persevere. The peak of the mountain is in sight, all that will remain is descent back down to ground level, back to sea level and familiar footing.
I’m going through this crazy life transformation and the strangest upheaval. Then there is this book. My current experience like some second puberty (well, probably my third or fourth) and you made me see that Infinite Jest is basically my mid-life Wrinkle in Time.
It’s just so weird to have someone mention these two books together because they do prompt that strange novel after-effect. What other novels do that?
Some of my comment got cut off:
I mainly wanted to say that I think I see what makes AWT and IJ both these transformative kind of books–where you read them and the world looks differently to you. I think it is because each sets up a moral universe–good, evil, the human condition–all that.
Infinite Jest is a surprise to me. I only read it for the hell of it, to do the Infinite Summer thing. I could not stop reading it but the whole time I was nitpicking every little thing. It seemed compelling but at the same time mediocre or less good than it could have been. I gradually realized while reading the book that I was wrong. But now that I am re-reading it over again, it is like a different book.
Almost like meeting someone who annoys you intensely and then realizing later they are an incredible person.
I am so glad someone else has a personal parallel connection to A Wrinkle in Time in regards to reading this book. I just may find that thing at the library…or better yet, buy my own copy of that to keep forever.
[...] I wrote a post for Infinite Summer about reading Infinite Jest. I’m proud of it. [...]
[...] You Have Chosen To Be In Here “I am a blogger by trade. I’m a blogger who blogs about blogs for a living for a local television news station. Part of that job entails monitoring 300, 400, 500 blogs every day (I lost count.), so that I may recommend content written by locals to locals. I’m a human aggregator. I scan and skim and skip big chunks of text so that I can crank out 10, 20, sometimes 25 posts in a single day. I cannot read all the posts made by local bloggers in a single day. It would be impossible. That means I never get to the end of what Google Reader pipes in to me, and I start it all over again the following morning with more scanning, skipping, skimming until some post pegged with bullet points or strategically placed bolded text catches my attention enough to single it out for suggestion. Large, long, thoughtful posts don’t get read in full, so much as passed on to others to read simply due to the length.” [...]
I find myself, while reading Infinite Jest, at times reading aloud. It is like poetry that needs to be read aloud, to hear the words, the delicious, big, long, new words, in the big, long sentences of the big, long paragraphs that take you through presentation, development, climax, and denouement in each chapter. Reading aloud lets me enjoy the beauty of his writing more fully and with wonderful delight. I am in here.
[...] Gilbert kicked the week off with a great post about, essentially, mindfulness. I love that she quotes Marathe in her post; I know the A.F.R. are [...]
[...] Brittney Gilbert: You Have Chosen To Be In Here at Infinite Summer (via PL) (tagged: InfiniteJest DFW literature reading essay todo ) [...]
It’s not the book that’s unfocused, it’s clearly me. Here I am, something like 100 pages behind, and I just spent a good 20 minutes looking at that D Listed link. It’s sad, really..